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An Ode to .. ex-King Chipkins

March 30, 2024
in New Zealand
Reading Time: 2 mins read
A A
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That was then, that is now

King Chipkins’s fort is underneath siege

From the Blue Meanies.

Outnumbered, outgunned and panicked,

His advisors plead with their King.

“There is just one likelihood, O Nice One,

convey out your secret weapon: the Capital Beneficial properties Blunderbuss!”

“By no means in one million years,”

The Captain makes his Name to eternity.

His armies lose all hope, drop their pikes,

And flee. The warfare is misplaced.

Three months later,

Ex-King Chipkins is exiled in a small dank cave.

“It’s now time to roll out the Capital Beneficial properties Blunderbuss!”

Calls for the King to his bemused advisors.

“However My Lord,” asks the final remaining scribe

From the Australian Broadcasting Company,

“You mentioned by no means in one million years….”

“That was then, that is now!”

Proclaims the fickle Ex-King to his cheering band.

Six months later,

The Temporary Reign of the Blue Meanies is over.

Reappointed King Chipkins is again in his Fort

And holds his Excessive Council with a visiting delegation

Of landlords, retailers and cash changers.

A crowd of muddy nobodies collect within the city sq..

“My lord!” Chant the oppressed serfs,

“The place is the Capital Beneficial properties Blunderbuss you promised?”

“Oh,” says King Chipkins,

closing the shutters firmly

on the noisome rabble far under.

“That was then –

And that is now.”

Victor Billot has beforehand felt moved to put in writing Odes to the Inexperienced’s Elf Queen,  The Regent Seymour, King Luxon, and Lord Winston. 

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